


An Investigation into the Beyond

by Kantayra



Category: Ghost Hunt
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-24
Updated: 2010-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-14 01:44:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/143989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kantayra/pseuds/Kantayra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yasuhara finds ways for Mai to entertain herself at work on a particularly dull afternoon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Investigation into the Beyond

**Author's Note:**

  * For [belina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/belina/gifts).



“It just seems,” Yasuhara said as he leaned against the counter while Mai rinsed out the office coffee mugs, “that if I’m going to pretend to be Naru for our clients, I should know how to act.”

Mai glanced over to where Naru was holed up in his office with the door shut. “He hasn’t left there all day,” she shrugged.

“So, you’re saying I _should_ behave like the kind of boss who hires someone to pretend to be him in order to avoid talking to clients?” Yasuhara teased.

Mai smiled at that. “You should also throw in regular references to ghost-hunting terminology that your clients will, naturally, be completely unfamiliar with.”

“And then stalk away in a huff when they don’t understand?” Yasuhara snickered.

“You’re horrible.” Mai shook her head.

“No, seriously,” Yasuhara insisted, “you’ve got to get me _something_ more clear to work with than just ‘meet with clients.’ I don’t even know what I’m supposed to _say_ to them!”

Mai bit her lip. “What do you want me to do? Stalk his closed office door all day?”

Yasuhara grinned. “I dare you.”

“No way,” Mai shook her head. “I couldn’t—”

Yasuhara winked at her.

And that was how it started.

***

 _3:30 PM: Office door is still shut and locked. Piece of tape I placed there this morning still in place. Conclusion: door has not opened since 8AM this morning._

Mai blushed a little when she e-mailed her report to Yasuhara, because it _was_ rather silly, after all, but it was also a lot more fun than just tidying the office, making coffee, and typing up Naru’s incomprehensible notes all day. Besides, she spied on Naru’s office all day anyway; it was kind of fun to talk to someone else about it for once.

Yasuhara e-mailed her back after his student-council meeting:

 _I’m a bad influence on you._

At least they were in agreement, then.

***

 _4:15: Sneeze emitted from Lin’s office. All indications point to signs of life._

Mai giggled into her hand when she sent the message.

Yasuhara’s response came quickly this time:

 _Hypothesis: Lin is alive._

 _Materials: 1 cup of coffee. 1 stopwatch. 1 large fern beside desk for concealment. Lab notebook to record results._

 _Experiment: Prepare a cup of strong coffee. Carry coffee below the vent leading to Lin’s office. Knock on door. Start stopwatch. Leave coffee on table outside office door. Hide behind receptionist’s desk, using fern for cover. Observe coffee mug from safe distance. When coffee mug disappears, stop watch. Record results._

 _Calculations: If the time recorded is between 0 and 5 minutes, Lin is indeed alive. If the time recorded is greater than 5 minutes, Lin is sleeping in there. If Lin retrieves the coffee before you can start the stopwatch, Lin was merely about to fall asleep in there. If Lin never retrieves the cup of coffee, Lin is, in fact, deceased. Summon assistance immediately for exorcism._

When Mai read that, she actually _did_ giggle aloud.

***

 _4:48: Experiment results are thus: 2 minutes 53.8 seconds. Conclusion: Lin is alive. Confirmation was necessary. Still no signs of life from Naru’s office._

Mai hummed to herself with a little smile while she cleaned Lin’s coffee mug once more. The sound of her e-mail dinged in the background. As expected, the response was from Yasuhara:

 _New Hypothesis: No signs of life from Naru’s office indicate that Naru is no longer alive. Repeat coffee experiment and report back._

Mai didn’t even hesitate to do so this time.

***

 _5:35: No response to coffee stimulus so far. 45 minutes have elapsed. Fear subject may, in fact, be deceased. Contact exorcism team?_

Yasuhara responded quickly:

 _Am on way over to perform exorcism, fear not!_

 _P.S. No, really? Did you try knocking again?_

Mai responded back with:

 _Of course! What do you take me for?_

Yasuhara responded only with:

 _~_^_

***

Yasuhara snuck into the SPR office at half past six and made a conspiratorial shushing noise at where Mai sat, typing in more notes. Mai immediately started snickering; Yasuhara really _was_ a bad influence. He gave her a cheeky grin and crept on tiptoes slowly toward Naru’s office. Very deliberately, he pulled a protective seal from his pocket that looked like it had been purchased from some cheap tourist shop. He reached out cautiously, slapped it on Naru’s door, and fled back to where Mai was hiding behind the potted fern once more.

“You shouldn’t,” she insisted, but she was smiling.

“It was for the safety of the entire office,” Yasuhara insisted solemnly. “May his soul rest in peace.”

“You’re going to get in trouble,” Mai shook her head and dared to peer out. It seemed Naru hadn’t even heard the sound of the seal on his door.

“No,” Yasuhara countered, “I’m going to make him finally talk to me long enough to figure out what I should be _asking_ clients in all these interviews to begin with.”

“What do you ask them?” Mai wondered.

“1. Are you haunted? 2. Are you going to throw me out of your office for asking if you’re haunted?” Yasuhara winked.

“You’re lying,” Mai said suspiciously.

Yasuhara winked again.

And then they heard the sound of a doorknob turning, and they both ducked down behind the fern once again.

The only problem was that the door that opened wasn’t Naru’s office or even Lin’s office, but the front door, from which the person entering could clearly see both of them goofing off at work.

An even _larger_ problem was that it was their boss who opened the front door.

Naru blinked at them both. “What…are you doing?” he asked, sounding very perplexed.

Mai’s face blushed a deep red. “We were just, er…”

“Discussing a new technique for detecting spirits of the deceased,” Yasuhara said boldly.

Mai stammered some more.

Naru narrowed his eyes at them suspiciously.

“And speaking of detecting spirits,” Yasuhara cut in smoothly, “how am I possibly supposed to evaluate clients when I can’t _do_ any of that detection in the first place?”

Naru made a beeline for his office. “Just determine whether their cases are valid or not,” he said unhelpfully and all but dived inside, before shutting the door behind him once more.

Yasuhara scowled at the door.

And then, almost as if by telekinesis, it slowly opened. Naru peered out, frowned at the touristy seal on the door, and then at the cold coffee mug on the end table.

Yasuhara was never one to miss such an opportunity and edged his foot into the door. “So,” he insisted, “about the client interview process…”

Naru sighed and shut the door behind them, leaving Mai on her own once more to clean up the mug of cold coffee. When she was halfway through, Lin finally emerged from his own office with a yawn. He headed for the coat rack to grab his jacket and then paused.

“Did I tell you that Shibuya would be out of the office all day on business?” he wondered.

Mai sighed. “No, you didn’t.”

“Hmm…” Lin said and wandered out.

Really, it was a wonder either of them had ever gotten _anything_ accomplished before she and Yasuhara arrived to provide actual communications with the outside world.

Mai dried the coffee mug, watered the fern, and headed home. Naru and Yasuhara seemed to be arguing a lot in Naru’s office, which just meant that Yasuhara was talking rather loudly and Naru’s silence felt stonier than usual. They’d probably be in there for quite a while yet.

On the way home, Mai received a text message from Yasuhara:

 _Naru not deceased. Just arrogant and unhelpful as usual._

Mai typed in:

 _Out of office all day. Lin neglected to tell me._

The bus reached her stop, and she hit send before stepping off. Just as she arrived home, her phone buzzed again:

 _New experiment: Lin not dead but may be zombie. Will devise new test for work tomorrow._

 _NO!_ Mai texted back, but she couldn’t help smiling.


End file.
